You’re getting married? Enjoy it while it lasts.

Warning, I’m about to get into a long rant here. If you have a short attention span just skip to the last few paragraphs, you wont hurt my feelings.

I’m a newly married guy. I married the love of my life last October after having dated for about 3 fantastic years. I fell in love with this sweet woman the summer I met her at our gym Crossfit 66.

If this had been any other gym I likely wouldn’t have approached her. Lucky for me Crossfit boxes encourage members to introduce themselves, so the moment I saw her I bee lined right over and said hi. Fast forward a couple of happy years later, I proposed at our Box and she said yes!

proposal

 

We had an amazing outdoor wedding that went better than I could have dreamed and immediately jetted off to Hawaii for a fantastic 2 week honeymoon. Now we’re back home living in reality, trying to balance time spent at Crossfit, work, and with friends and family. We’re learning how to adult and how to spend money wisely. All this and I could’t be happier.

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I know we’re still young and in the honeymoon phase, and I guess according to older people that means we’re not qualified to have an opinion on what a marriage should be. But I’m loving life and I fully believe the God has blessed me with a wife that exceeded my dreams. The bible does say “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”

As a generally happy man, all I want to do is share my happiness with other people. Here’s the part I take issue with. I can’t tell you the number of times that news of our engagement or marriage was met with negativity. It sounds weird to see it written down but I’m sure you’ve either heard this or have even been party to this type of convo. “So your getting married huh, wow what a mistake, good luck with that just try to enjoy it while it lasts.”

Don’t get me wrong, we still get plenty of positive feedback and I thank everyone who had a kind, positive word for us, but the first time someone made this type of negative comment to me I was shocked. Even though the man who said it to me came from a history of divorce and currently appeared to be in an unhappy marriage, I was still surprised to here that statement out loud.

Since we got engaged and even after the wedding, we still regularly receive this negative sentiment.  I get it too, some people have had their marriage end or might be stuck in a bad one. So they’re hating life maybe and through some weird way they want to help me avoid the same pain, well thanks for nothing.

I just don’t understand the idea of taking your past baggage and essentially assuming I’ll have the same fate and telling me so. You know what other life event people act like this for? Nothing! How about cars, a lot of people are married to just one car and they depend on it daily. And everyone has had bad experiences with a car. Either it’s just a lemon or something horrible happened to it, or you just haven’t maintained it and now it sucks. Can you guess what usually happens when you buy a new car and show it off to your friends? They get stoked on it. Unless they are complete jerks, you will get congrats and high fives and requests for rides. People for the most part will treat this as if it’s a good thing. I have never seen someone showing off a new car and heard this. “Oh man, you dumb S.O.B., don’t you know that it’s just gonna get old and wear out? It’s nice now but someday you’re gonna hate it.”

No, people get pumped about a new car and let’s be honest, with how fast cars depreciate, buying a brand new car is usually a dumb move. How about alcohol? Here’s something people buy everyday that’s only poison. There’s no good health benefits from drinking alcohol and depending on how crazy you get, it can very easily lead to disaster in your life. But whenever I go to a bar or the liquor store I never get any attitude from the check out guy. And if someone sees me buying a lot of booze, they’re all smiles and suddenly your a fun guy who likes to party.

So why are people so quick to respond negatively towards marriage? Ya I understand that America has a 50% divorce rate. I know a lot of people who have had horrible relationships and if they’re not divorced they want to be. So what? People get in fatal car accidents every day but no know one ever tries to stop you from going on a donut run.

Here’s what I suggest, how about next time someone tells you they’re about to propose to the love of their life, first make sure they’re not about to get engaged to the anti-christ, then wish them well. Don’t immediately crap on their happiness because you might not be happy. I’m not picking on people in bad relationships, I’ve been there and it can make you hate your life. Sometimes things are beyond your control and they just go south before you can stop it, but when I was in a not so sunny place I still would wish the best for my friends and family. In the event you see two people enjoying their time together and they come to you with good news of marriage, and you have had bad experiences, you can offer a unique perspective on what not to do. If you can’t overcome the jealousy or whatever you have inside that would cause you to respond negatively, then just say “congrats” and move on with your day.

Basically, don’t be a dick.

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